“Agnostics, who are constantly exercised by the question of God, those who long for a pure heart but suffer on account of their sin, are closer to the Kingdom of God than believers whose life of faith is “routine” and who regard the Church merely as an institution, without letting it touch their hearts, or letting the faith touch their hearts”—Pope Benedict XVI
I’ve decided that I’m going to try and conquer one fear every day. As someone with anxiety issues, it’s not finding enough fears that’s the issue, but the tackling of them. Today it was the fear of handing out flyers. I feel like I’ve achieved something more than giving out 100ish leaflets, this is a good start.
You know when you’re having a really bad day and you just don’t want to do anything? I had one of those yesterday, but I felt a gentle nudging in my heart to go to Mass in the evening (I’d already been in the morning but not really put my heart into it). So I did, and as soon and we walked into the Cathedral I knew I was home. I love it when you walk into a Church and REALLY feel like you are in God’s house.
Then we met a friend from home on the off-chance and had an awesome and enthusiastic conversation about faith and getting into outreach. Mass itself was so so powerful: the church was packed, the choir was so beautiful and the sermon was inspiring. I felt like I was surrounded by love, I was truly in my Father’s arms. I’m pretty sure Ruth and I couldn’t have left the Church with bigger smiles on our faces.
I am so glad that I listened to that little divine nudging that turned a bad day into an amazing evening. I need to learn to let God turn my life upside down more often, I’m too fond of being in control. I’m actually pretty excited about what God’s going to do with my life this year. This is just the beginning.
“Only in love can I find You, my God. In love the gates of my soul spring open, allowing me to breathe a new air of freedom and forget my own petty self. In love my whole being streams forth out of the rigid confines of narrowness and anxious self-assertion, which make me a prisoner of my own poverty and emptiness. In love all the powers of my soul flow out toward You, wanting never more to return, but to lose themselves completely in You, since by Your love You are the inmost center of my heart, closer to me than I am to myself.”—Fr Karl Rahner, SJ in ‘Encounters with Silence’ (via my-crazy-catholic-life)
Tonight I’m going to have a prayer night. I want to light candles and just be with Jesus. If you have intentions, drop them in my ask box (that’s true always, not just tonight). Prayer is powerful and I love it.
“In detachment, the spirit finds quiet and repose for coveting nothing. Nothing wearies it by elation, and nothing oppresses it by dejection, because it stands in the center of its own humility.”—St John of the Cross (via catholic-inspiration)